It seems everyone these days is hanging out, hooking up, or hoping to, and with the right app and just a few clicks, almost anyone can find someone who acts and thinks just like they do.
Apparently, everyone except for supporters of President Donald Trump?
Look, I understand the struggle.
It cannot be easy to meet people at white supremacist rallies as so many people are wearing white hoods.
Trump campaign rallies are packed full of angry men, angry women, and an angry candidate spewing anger. Sorry, they are places to share hate, not find love.
And no, that paramedic who saved their lives with that dose of Narcan is unlikely to be considering them as a mate anytime soon.
Nor are the nice folks from child services.
Or the sheriff’s department.
People in rehab are discouraged from relationships until they are clean long enough.
Prisons tend to be single sex, and we know what the Bible and Mike Huckabee say about that, right?
The public library is out. None of them have library cards.
All the news Trump supporters need comes from Fox News, Diamond & Silk YouTube videos, or from watching Trump campaign rallies on a loop. That does not leave much time for outdoor activities.
“Netflix and chill” usually means a Dinesh D’Souza marathon while using the oven for heat.
No one ever said, “Hey, I am going down to the unemployment office this afternoon. Hope I get lucky!”
The grocery store is out, at least if we are talking Whole Foods or Wegman’s or anyplace with a produce aisle. I guess they could find love at the Dollar General, between the pork rinds and the Mountain Dew, but the odds are as slim as the Jim’s.
That just leaves gun shows, county fairs, and church.
A new site has launched just for the Trump fans in America no one else wants to spend time with or listen to. DonaldDaters.com.
They promise to “Make America Date Again” without all that bias, judgement, and liberal intolerance. Yes, instead of Mr. or Ms. Right, they give you Mr. or Ms. Right Wing Fanatic.
They mention on their website that, “Many on the Left chose party over love stopping any date if the other user is a supporter of our president.” Can’t argue with that!
Or, my favorite, “You had me at MAGA.”
CEO Emily Moreno said it better in explaining why she launched the dating site:
“For many young Trump supporters, liberal intolerance has made meeting and dating nearly impossible. Support for the President has become a deal breaker instead of an icebreaker.”
Yeah…that’s sort of like saying that many on the Left won’t date zombies because zombies just keep making guttural and unintelligible noises and trying to gnaw our faces off. Of course, zombies never tried to take away my healthcare and they don’t demand school vouchers.
It is really a liberal defect that Trump supporters are so unappealing as partners?
This is one of the home screen pictures from the app:
It reminded me of the dating service skit from Mad TV .
Their intro for the skit was,
“Are you having trouble finding your ideal mate? How about any mate? Do you fear you’ll be the last man or woman on earth still not getting any? Are you using roofies to score? And you still hope to land that prince or princess of your dreams? Well wake up, Sleeping Ugly! Because your only hope is Lowered Expectations. Our video library allows you to choose from thousands of chronically rejected singles just as hard up and pathetic as you. So good luck, you’ll need it.”
Of course, the need for this new dating app should not come as a surprise.
Last November, a Washington Post story found that many male Trump voters suffer from “fragile masculinity.” The authors studied the use of Google search topics like “erectile dysfunction,” “hair loss,” “how to get girls,” “penis enlargement,” “penis size,” “steroids,” “testosterone” and “Viagra.” The darker the area, the more of a hot-spot for those searches.
And here is how the 2016 election turned out.
Other than perhaps Wisconsin staying blue and New Mexico turning red, which would not have altered the outcome of the election, the map of displaced and perhaps dysfunctional males did a better job of predicting the surprise Trump victory in 2016 than most pundits did.
Look, I tease Trump voters about their lifestyle, their intelligence, and their net worth. But it is all in good sport, like the Bill Maher rant a week ago, and many Trump supporters I know do not really fit the sort of stereotypes I poked fun at earlier in this article.
They work hard.
They play hard.
They pray hard.
They want liberals to leave them alone.
They just do not want to BE alone.
And here’s the thing.
Look at the voting patterns. Engage with the typical older, male, Trump voter on Facebook or Twitter. Their minds are not going to change because liberals browbeat them from now until November of 2020. Something needs to replace all that anger.
When people feel more economically secure, more emotionally secure, and more confident in and hopeful about America’s future, they tend to vote for more liberal candidates.
When people are broke, scared, and pessimistic about their futures (and America’s), or they feel threatened and ostracized, they vote for strongmen and demagogues.
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That is the conundrum President Donald Trump faces.
Donald Trump won Pennsylvania, Michigan, and Wisconsin by a combined 70,000 or so votes. He has almost no margin for error.
If rural voters in swing states like Pennsylvania, Michigan, and Wisconsin are still as angry, scared, and pessimistic on November 3, 2020 as they were on November 8, 2016…hasn’t Donald Trump failed completely to keep his promise to the very voters who put him in the White House? After all, red states were going to go red and blue states were going to go blue no matter the nominee. He converted enough in those swing states to swing the election.
But if the lives of these voters gets noticeably better, if they are happy and healthy (and hairy & hard, apparently), will they lose the simmering rage that led them to surge to the polls to send a much different message of change than the one heard in 2008?
There would be some irony in Trump’s defeat in 2020 though, if it results from happy men staying home with their wives or girlfriends next election day, especially if they met those women on DonaldDate.
Remember that in one of the Republican primary debates in 2016, Marco Rubio questioned Donald Trump’s manhood, his virility, even the length of his fingers. In hindsight, that may have hurt Rubio more than it hurt Trump, as the voters insecure about the same things surged to Trump’s defense. But Marco Rubio may have the last laugh.
Emily Moreno, the CEO of DonaldDates, is a former Marco Rubio campaign staffer.